Dear Diary,
by iamthecreator
Summary: Diary entries by Jade and now Tori! , explaining what happened in their past. Jori.
1. Chapter 1

Tori Vega.

Tori _fucking _Vega.

Everybody just _loves _her and her cheeky smile, her bright eyes and her never-ending niceness.

Her existence is the mere thing that can crawl under my skin and consume my insides. It clouds my mind and makes me want to do bad things. _Very _bad things.

See, everyone thinks I hate her for no reason.

Ha!

I have all the reason. So, diary. Since no one else will listen, I got you.

Here we go.

I guess I should say "Dear Diary," right? Would that make you feel more human? Fine.

Dear Diary,

Today was fucking terrible.

I am the alpha female in my school. Though I may not be blonde, preppy and happy, I _am _the alpha female. People cower at the sight of me.

I hate school. I only go to see people suffer.

Today was different. When I got to school, the first thing I hear is, "Omg there's a new student!"

A new student. Someone new to add to my suffering list. I quickly scan the halls to find the new vict - er, student.

Then I see _her._ I nearly dropped my books when I saw her. Why is she here?

That smile. It hasn't changed a bit.

I wonder if she remembers me?

I wonder if she remembers the problems and pain she has caused?

No. She wouldn't remember. I was just another pawn in her game, another piece to her puzzle.

I glared at her from across the hall, hoping to catch her eye. Then she looked at me, and I stared back. She smiled at me.

A _smile._

To any one else, it seemed like a friendly smile. A genuine smile.

But I knew better.

It was a conniving smile.

A knowing smile.

She remembered.

That's enough for the day, Diary. I'm beginning to get emotional.

~ Jade.

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**A/N: I've been watching a lot of Victorious lately, and I really LOVE the Jori pairing so I decided to write a fan fiction about it. I know this is short, I really couldn't think of anything else to write. This is gonna be in Jade's POV, since it's her writing in her diary. Hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

I didn't even go to school today. I could face her.

You're probably wondering what she did so wrong?

I'm not sure if I can tell you yet. Just keep in mind, she is a bitch.

Oh, the doorbell.

I'll write to you later.

-x-

**-Later that night, 10 pm-**

I hate myself right now, Diary. Guess who as the door? None other than Tori fucking Vega. This is what happened:

I answered the door and scowled at the smiling brunette.

"What?" My voice was filled with venom. She just smiled that stupid smile at me.

"I noticed you weren't at school today, Jade-y!"

"What's it to you?" I spat out, my face twisting at the nickname.

"I just wanted to see what was wrong," she frowned. But I saw what was behind it. There was a smirk hidden.

My eyes narrowed. "Don't come here anymore, Vega." I moved to close the door, but her foot stuck out, catching it at the last minute.

"Was that a threat, West?" Her usual perky tone dropped an octave. Her voice was deeper and more frightening. Enough to send chills down my back.

"N-no..." I stuttered. She pushed open the door and waltzed into my living room.

"Different than your old house," she commented, scanning the room. I just stared at her, unsure of what to do. See, before Hollywood Arts, I lived in New York. That is where I met this demon called Tori Vega.

"Take me to your room." she demanded, motioning towards the scars.

"I'd rather not," I replied, my usual rock hard voice shaking.

"I wasn't asking." She made her way up the stairs and I couldn't help but stare at her ass. Noticing this, Tori looked down at me and smirked. "You haven't changed a bit, West." I bit my lip and followed her to my room.

She easily figured out which one was mine, seeing as I had "Jade's Room, Keep the FUCK Out!" taped to my door. She flung it open and beelined to the bed.

I stared at her. How could I let this girl just come in and ruin my life? In New York, she was me and I was her. I was the preppy, smiling, happy girl. She was the feared, angsty, school bully. And she targeted me.

"Come here, West." She purred, patting the spot next to her. "Come take of me, Jade-y." a lump formed in my throat and it hurt to swallow. It was happening all over again. My head stayed turned to the side; I couldn't look at her.

I felt a pair of slim hands wrap around my waist and warm lips on my neck.

"Come on, Jade-y. You know you miss this."

Shivers ran down my spine. Why is this happening to me?

Her lips nibbled on my ear. "Come on, West," she moaned. "I only had to force you one time."

I almost gave in, but that last sentence made me freeze. She promised that if I complied, she'd never bring that up again. Nobody needed to know that she... forced me to do those things.

A warm hand grabbed my wrist and turned me around. My breath caught in my throat as my emerald eyes stared into her angry chestnut colored ones.

"Come on the bed, NOW West," she hissed, dragging me onto the bed.

And everything after that was a blur of legs, warm lips and moans.

Now, here I am. I remember when she left.

"Hope you had fun you filthy, lesbian slut."

Those were her last words before she kissed me on the cheek and left. I locked my bedroom door and cried. Yes, I, Jade West, cried. Only she could do this to me. And I can't get any help. Everyone thinks she's this sweet, preppy, friendly girl.

But I know her true self.

She is a bitch.

Ta-ta for now, Diary. I have to prepare myself for when I see her tomorrow...


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

Today was... let me just tell you what happened.  
I got to school second period. Anything to stall the time between me having to see her. Of course, we had second period together so my plan didn't really work.  
When I walked into class, Vega decides to sit next to me. As you know, I have a reputation to uphold. I had to say something, even though there would obviously be consequences to face.

"Move it, Vega," I hissed at the Latina. She pouted, but I could see the mischevious look in her eyes.  
"C'mon Jade, why do you hate me?" The words dripped out of her mouth slowly, as if she was taunting me. The rest of the class just looked on, used to my behavior.  
I carressed a pair of scissors in my pocket, feeling the sharp edge against my finger. I had to take control of the situation. In a quick flash, the scissors were out of my pocket, my fingers intertwined in the holes.

"Either you move, Vega, or your pretty fucking hair gets it." The usual tone of authority and superiority was heavy in my voice. Her eyebrows raised up at me as if to say "Oh, you're gonna get it Jade-y".  
With a fake look of hurt, she huffed and stood up.

"I just wanted to be friends," she frowned as she sat somewhere else.  
With a sigh, I put my scissors back into my pocket.  
Sickowitz was late _again, _so I didn't have to worry about getting sent to the principal's office.  
Then my PearPhone vibrated.  
I looked over at Tori and saw an evil look spread across her face as she stared at me. I shakily pulled the phone out of my pocket and read the text.  
"_ur gonna get it Jadey. c u at 7 :)_"  
It took all of my strength not to run out of the classroom right then and there. But I couldn't. I couldn't let her win.  
Instead, I looked at her and smiled.

-x-

I glanced at the clock nervously. '6:55'.  
When Vega says a time, she means that time. Never late.  
Perfect Vega.  
I wonder how she ended up here? Did she follow me?  
I remembered in Kindergarten, when it all began.  
We were friends since Pre-K. She was always happy and smiling. Just like me. But in Kindergarten, something changed.  
She lost the red glow in her cheeks.  
She lost the sparkle in her eye.  
She lost the shin in her smile.  
I begged her to tell me what happened, but she never would.  
In April of that school year, she snapped.  
The class was outside for recess when she grabbed my arm and dragged me back inside. I asked her where we were going and she wouldn't answer me. I eventually realized we were going towards the bathroom. That's when I relaxed a little. She probably had to pee and didn't wanna go alone.  
That's where I was wrong.  
She pulled me in the stall with her and immediantly pulled down my pants.  
"What are you doing?" I squealed, grabbing at my pants.  
"Shut the fuck up," she growled. I felt something cold pressed against my neck and I didn't have to look to know it was a knife.

Let me check the clock again before I continue.  
7:00!  
I'm gonna go wait by the door.  
Talk to you later!

-x-

I let her take advantage of me again.  
As soon as I reached downstairs, the doorbell rang.

"Jade-y!" She called through the door. Her voice sounded sweet but I could hear the menacing undertone. After wiping my sweaty hands on my black skirt, I opened up the door to reveal the smiling Latina.

"Hey Jade!" She smiled, pushing past me and sitting on my couch. I said nothing, just watched her.

"That was quite a stunt you pulled today." Her smile faded as she stared with a cold glare into my face.

"You don't understand... I have a reputation to uphold. If I just let the 'new girl' be the one to break me, I'd be seen as weak and -"

"You _are _weak." She snarled at me, cutting me off.  
Rolling my eyes, I ignored her and continued. " - and it'd make everyone worried, thus investigating and finding out what you've been doing."  
A look of understanding washed across her face as she turned towards me.

"Look, Jade-y, you haven't done not a thing to stop me. You obviously want this as much as I do."  
My breath caught in my throat.

"What? No, I -"  
I felt her lips against mine, slowly slipping her tongue into my mouth.  
As usual, I fell into the kiss. Her lips smiled against mine triumphantly, and she led me to my room once again.

-x-

And now here I am, hating myself again.  
She always does this. Ever since we were kids, she's been forcing me to do these things. At first, I was afraid. I didn't want to do it anymore.  
Now I realized something.  
I didn't want this to happen but ...  
I'm falling in love with her.  
Sigh.  
Goodnight, Diary.

* * *

**A/N: I swear the plot to this story sounds so familiar. Does this ring any bells for anyone? I think I've seen a movie like this or something lol. Well I hope you enjoyed! Might have to make it M soon...**


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Today was the most horrible day ever.

Tori decided to take pictures of what happened last night and she posted them ALL OVER The Slap. Now everyone thinks I'm some gothic, dyke bitch.

I hate her with all my heart. And to think I thought I was falling in love with her.

I had over 50 text messages, all from people wondering what the hell was happening. I'll just tell you the important ones.

_Jade, what happened between you and Tori? Please text me back. _- Beck

_Can I watch sometime? _- Rex. Seriously. How does he even have a phone?

_Hey Jade! I saw what Tori posted. Can we try that some time? It looks fun! _- Cat. How adorable, she doesn't even understand.

_Jade? What is that on the Slap? I'm here if you need me. _ - Robbie. I don't even like that kid.

_What did you do to my sister! She's gonna be more popular than me now. Can you make out with me too? _- Trina. Ugh, I hate that girl even more than Tori.

_Hey, I saw what happened on the Slap. Wanna talk about it? Come over if you want. _- Andre. I was actually considering that. I had no one else to talk to …

Oh look, a text from _her._

_I have more of those, Jadey. Don't test me._

A chill ran down my spine when I read read that text. How did she take those pictures without me noticing? I should probably go to Andre's house. I need to get this stuff of my chest. Talk to you later, diary.

-x-

I told Andre _everything_. And I actually cried in his arms. How could I be so weak? But he held me and told me I'd be okay. I made him promise never to tell anybody and he promised. I just hope Tori doesn't find out. The things she'd do …

On that note, I really hope she doesn't come tonight. I can't deal with her.

I guess you want to hear - or read - another story from my past? Here you go.

_It was 8th grade. Tori and I were inseparable, but only because she would never let me out of her sight. Everyone thought it was cute how close we were, but no one could tell how much I was really dying inside. _

_We were having our weekly sleepover, the one we had every Friday since 1st grade. She was running her fingers through my hair, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I didn't fall for it, though. I knew it was a matter of time before she transformed into the horrible monster I've come to know._

_"Jade-y," she whispered._

_"Yes, Tori?" _

_"Do you love me?" _

_I didn't know what to say. Of course I didn't love her. She made my life a living hell. I felt her fingers stop moving against my scalp and she leaned back away from me._

_"That's enough of an answer," she growled. _

_"N-no! I-i…" _

_"Don't lie to me! You don't have to love me. It's fine. Just know, I love you." _

_My heart stopped at those words. Was she serious? Did she really love me? Or was she just saying this so I'd continue to do what she wants?_

_"I'm serious, Jade-y. I know I've been a bitch to you, but it was only because I didn't know what to do." _

_"But why? After what you've been doing to me all these years…" I instantly regretted my words._

_"What Ive been _doing _to you? What exactly have I been _doing _to you?" _

_"You've been… r-raping me…"_

_I felt her warm hand against my cheek, the sting resounding through my body. _

_"Raping you? _Raping _you? You've got be kidding me. Do you know what rape is? Do you want me to _show _you what rape is?" _

_Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I turned to look at her. "N-no…"_

_"Rape is what my _father's _been doing to me since I was in kindergarten! Coming into my room at night, telling me my pajamas are on backwards, and then telling me it's our little secret! _That's _what rape is, Jade. What Ive been doing to you? You like it! Sure, maybe I forced you at first, but you _like _it. Thats why you haven't told anyone."_

_My mouth took the shape of an 'O' as I stared up at her. She wasn't crying, no. She looked _furious.

_"I just tell the girl I've loved since God-knows-when that I love her, and this is how I'm rewarded." _

_The tears finally fell, and they fell fast. I shot up from where I was sitting and held her in my arms._

_"No, Tori. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You're right, you're so right. I do like it. I love this whole thing. I'm sorry. I love you, Tori. I'm in love with you."_

_Her tears slowed down and she looked up at me, smiling. "Really?"_

_I closed the space between our lips and smiled into the kiss. "Really."_

Cute, huh diary? I wish. There's more to the story… but I'll reveal that later. Right now, I'm tired. Goodnight.

* * *

**Did you like that? I dunno where I'm going with this story, sorry if it seems like a hot mess. Hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I'm now introducing Tori into the story. This chapter was written by a wonderful anonymous reviewer, Midnight13! Thank you so much for this chapter! **

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Dear Diary,

Jade is my rock.

She's the thing I held onto when I fell into that current. Without her, I probably would've committed suicide by now.

She was the only thing I had left to hang onto when...he...started to do...things, to me, way back when.

I know Tori Vega's life is supposed to absolutely flawless, but that's just not how things turned out.

Not at all.

But I'm starting to get tear drops on this page, so I'll just save it for later.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm back, but brace yourself.

You are about to enter the not-so-perfect life of Tori Vega.

As I said before, he "did" things to me. I tried to hide my fear and frustration, but it was simply impossible.

I tried to break free of the current, get back on the land where I was supposed to be, but no.

Soon I realized that the only thing I had to hold on to was Jade, my rock. I wanted to make her feel the same thing I felt.

Fear and frustration.

So I stripped her of everything she had, that one day in kindergarten. She was no longer innocent. I had personally done her a favor, by exposing her to the screwy parts of the world then, so it wouldn't hurt as much when she had to find out.

After that, I did it to her often.

Sometimes I would drag her to the bathrooms at lunch time, and other times I would show up at her house for a "play date".

She had to be forced at first, but eventually stopped refusing.

Her eyes stopped being vibrant and were filled with fear; her smile had faded and all happiness seemed to be sucked out of her. She started wearing black.

In 8th grade, I told her about my dad.

A year later, I decided to ask her about why she chose to wore black.

"Black is what you wear to a funeral, and I feel dead inside."

Her words pierced my heart.

Did I kill her inside?

In the beginning, that's what I wanted to happen, tear down Jade, but now I felt love for the girl. I thought she had loved me too. I just left then. But I came back. I always did.

And I always will.

-Tori Vega


	6. Chapter 6

**Woo, 2 chapters in one day. I know they're pretty short, sorry :T This story is seriously sad, lol. Well, enjoy!**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm slowly falling back into the abyss. It took me years, _years _ to climb out. I thought I was finally strong, finally able to go back to an ordinary life.

All of that gets crushed by the sight of one person.

Diary, how does she do it? How is she able to crawl under my skin, sleep and lay eggs there?

Why am I unable to stand up for myself, to tell her to stop?

Why haven't I told anyone what she's doing?

_Because you like it. _That voice in the back of my head always seems to say. _Shut up! _I want to scream, but there's no one around to hear me. Nothing but the cold darkness of my lonely room.

Beck broke up with me. There was no denying what he saw on The Slap. Everyone, and I mean _everyone _ was talking about it. All the boys couldn't take their eyes off of me and the girls looked at me with disgust.

What did I do to deserve this?

I remember the old Tori, the one who would never do this to me. I remember how everything was before that faithful day in kindergarten.

We were both so young, so carefree. We had dreams and aspirations. Girls looked at our friendship with envy, knowing that they'd probably never be that close with anyone, ever.

Then I remember the first time, the second time, the third, tenth and fiftieth times. It went on for what felt like forever, but it was our little secret. A secret I wasn't allowed to tell.

_"Why do you do this to me?" I asked Tori one day in seventh grade while she was pressed against me in my bedroom closet. A look of confusion and shock spread across her face like she couldn't believe I would even ask that._

_"Why? Because you fucking deserve it, Jade!" _

_Her lips crashed against mine once again, and the kiss felt angry, hungry. I just didn't understand. Why did I deserve it? As if reading my mind, she spoke up._

_"You're so fucking perfect. Not a damn care in the world. It's time to _grow up, _Jade. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine." _

_I figured she was right. She was always right. She was more mature than me, had more experience._

_She was always giving me little life lessons, and I felt like she knew everything. _

_I'm a student, and she's my teacher. Telling me all the things you don't learn at school, the things movies and parents don't teach you. The little hidden things, the deeper secrets._

_That's why I thought I deserved it, that it was normal. _

I know now that she was wrong. I didn't deserve it, any of it. I deserved a happy childhood and a good friend. I deserved my innocence, I deserved the right to choose for myself. I deserved anything but what she did to me.

I know she was having problems, but I could've helped her. She didn't have to do those things. She didn't have to scar me for life.

My eye catches the exposed skin of my left arm, and I see the faded scars. They each have their own story, their own reason behind it. I haven't cut since I moved here, but the feeling is unbearable.

Talk to you later, Diary.


End file.
